For a Positive Relationship, Fight Your Negativity Bias

Want to rate your relationship on the three keys to great long term love? Take the Passion Quiz

“Dr. Cheryl, why am I always so pessimistic about my relationship?”

“How can my partner and I be more positive about one another?”

“Why can’t my sweetheart do anything right?!”

It may be 2024, but we still have brains that evolved from the cave days. Over the eons, our brains have developed certain survival patterns that have held on in even the most intelligent minds. One of those leftover base instincts that we’re still coping with today is negativity bias and it just might be the biggest issue in your relationship.

On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you all about negativity bias and the importance of thinking positively about your partner.

Today is all about training your mind to do a better job of defaulting toward a positive point of view. I’m giving you a few short examples and some more elaborate models and exercises that you can do to bolster your relationship with your sweetheart.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

If your partner is consistently rude and condescending—even if it’s not directed toward you—it needs to be addressed (03:40)

Our minds tend to look for what’s wrong and not what’s right (08:05)

You do NOT have to say every negative thing that comes to mind (15:32)

Sharing a home and sharing a life demands graceful compromise (17:04)

Today’s LoveByte (26:11)

Have questions about meditation or about your relationship? Send them to us at [email protected].

Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!

Are you in love the way you used to be?

Let me help with free tips to create the happy, passionate relationship you desire.