The Sex You're Not Having

The Sex You’re Not Having

If you are in a long-term relationship, how often do you and your partner have sex? Having a temporary dry spell is different than being in a sexless marriage – which is when you are having sex less than 6 times a year. If this sounds like the current state of your partnership, then it is time to start talking about the sex you’re not having. 

You may think, but isn’t it normal for couples to stop having sex as they get older and have been together for a long time? This is a HUGE myth that too many couples have normalized in order to avoid addressing the lack of sex in their partnership. It is possible to return to the sexual beings you were at the beginning of your relationship, no matter what age you and your partner are. 

Today, I am talking about what a sexless marriage is and how to begin talking about the sex you’re not having with your partner. I share stories and lessons learned from the couples in my Become Passion course, in which part of what I help them with is reigniting the sexual aspect of their relationship. If you are interested in joining the next course of Become Passion, you can join the waitlist here

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • What defines a sexless marriage and the statistics & myths associated (5:16)
  • The first step for addressing ANY problem – not just lack of sex (10:01)
  • An example of how to acknowledge the lack of sex with your partner (11:26)
  • It takes time and commitment to go from sexless to sexual (22:37)
  • This week’s LoveByte (26:18)


  • When can I consider I am in a sexless marriage? When you’re having sex less than 6 times a year. 
  • How do I tell my partner that I want to have more sex? Don’t overwhelm them, blame them, or approach the conversation with anger. Be brave for both of you by acknowledging the lack of sex and opening up the conversation. You need to have the conversation about the sex you are not having. 
  • Why do couples stop having sex as they get older? This is a MYTH. Not all couples stop having sex as they get older. If you have stopped having sex as you have gotten older, don’t lose hope. With commitment and time, you can sexually reconnect with your partner. 

Resources mentioned:

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